So you want to be an adventurer…
All of you, by means that you will flesh out in your backstories, have come together as a group in Edicaria, the capital of the kingdom of Archea. You have pledged your lives to one another and are keenly anticipating making a difference/profit as a wandering band of plucky adventurers/murder hobos.
The only trouble is, nowadays, there seems to be an acute shortage of adventures for you to embark upon. Not so long ago, the market for plucky adventurers was hopping and the jobs board at the Adventurers’ Guild was packed with flyers advertising any number of gigs. Demand for adventurers was high enough that many of the flyers even welcomed interest from brand-new adventuring groups! Adventuring suddenly became the new glamour job where you could be your own boss, set your own hours, and, soon after, find yourself swimming in gold and super-hot members of the appropriate sex(es) and race(s). Indeed, the covers of about 3 out of 5 issues of Edicaria Weekly over the past year featured groups of adventurers!
The Economy?!?!
But, just as soon as you all took the plunge and quit your day jobs to become adventurers, the bottom fell out of the market. Suddenly the jobs board was bare and prospective employers, noticing the swing in demand, got much more picky about qualifications than before. Now there’s just a handful of jobs posted and they all demand experienced adventurers… …such as the one that sought a party of seventh-level adventurers to clear a giant rat infestation from a restaurant basement. (The group reportedly used a Fireball to do the job, causing every dish in the restaurant to acquire the unmistakable aftertaste of scorched rat. The owner was furious and refused to pay—until a well-known food critic declared the flavor “a bold new direction for haute cuisine” and credited the restaurant with reshaping the Edicarian palate. So never let it be said that adventurers don’t make a difference.)
And, honestly, it’s not just adventuring. A wide variety of industries throughout the area have fallen on hard times and every business and individual has responded by cutting back on their spending. Acolytes of Bernanke, the god of money, claim that the “economy” (some sort of fey creature?) is “in recession” (astrology?!?) and needs to be “stimulated” by “interest rate cuts” and “counter-cyclical fiscal policy” but the only part of all of that that anyone understands is “interest rate cuts” and there’s no way in the seven hells that the moneylenders are going to sign on for that. So, everyone, much like you, is muddling through as best as they can and hoping that things will get better before they run out of food.
A Glimmer of Hope…
But! There is a glimmer of hope for all of you. For the past two weeks you’ve been visiting the Adventurer’s Guild at least thrice daily to keep an eye on a specific post on the jobs board that no one seems interested in. It involves travel to Cambria, the far-flung province politely referred to by Edicarian nobles as ‘the left asscheek of Archea‘—though others prefer ‘the bog-sodden hinterlands where the vowels are long and the baths are optional.’ Known mostly for exporting lumber, ore, and regrettable accents, Cambria enjoys a reputation for being mud-choked, ale-sodden, tooth-optional, and vaguely upright. Initially the job was posted for seventh level adventurers only but with the curious lack of interest from anyone, it was re-posted as fifth level… then fourth level… then third level… and just two days ago it was posted as second level… and yesterday it was first level but some experience required and today… today…
It reads, “Freshly-minted adventuring parties welcome!” You snatch the post off the wall, nearly tearing it in half in your haste and hustle over to the jobs desk to claim it. You open your trembling hands and through the thin film of tears you can barely see the writing. No matter… you’ve seen it so often over the past two weeks that you’ve practically got it memorized. It reads…
WANTED:
A band of plucky first-level adventurers (Freshly-minted adventuring parties welcome!) to travel to Cambria to investigate and put an end to the various disruptive events taking place there. Special consideration given to those with experience in handling deadly plagues, unbreakable codes, unmapped territories, Hobgoblin raiders, rebellious peasantry, ogres, and the undead. Restore the Authority of the King and bring Peace to His Lands.
- Transportation – transportation there is provided. Transportation back, should it prove to be needed, is on your own.
- Food – food is not provided.
- Drink – drink is not provided either.
- Accommodations – on your own.
- Insurance – we recommend that you purchase a generous adventurer’s insurance policy prior to setting out.
- Pay – whatever you legally manage to acquire in the course of discharging your duties is yours to keep. Any such income is, of course, fully taxable. You are advised to keep receipts.
- Other benefits – no.
Upon accepting this engagement, report to M. Crezia at the Ministry of the Interior, 2nd sub-basement, No. 382 (across the hall from the Department of Owlbear Population Control).”
The bored clerk monotones, “Thank you for accepting this assignment on behalf of the Adventurer’s Guild now please sit in those chairs and fill out Forms AG-10, AG-12, and AG-14A in clearly legible handwriting.” Once you are done (somehow managing legible handwriting despite your excitement!), the clerk reviews your paperwork, collates and stamps the appropriate pages, gives you your copies, and drones, “On behalf of the Guild, it is a personal honor to wish you good luck, good hunting, and good fortune” without making eye contact even once.
But Never Mind All That!
But never mind the clerk’s attitude! And never mind the red flags in the job listing! You stride out of the Guild ten feet tall and beside yourself with excitement about seeing M. Crezia tomorrow because… because… at long Long LONG last… you are finally an ADVENTURER!