One of the party asked about whether the people providing countersigns to the speakeasy door appeared to be doing any mathematical calculations. Pfinder replied,
“Now, far be it from me to suggest that the patrons of that establishment were mathematical prodigies. The hour was past midnight—a time of day when even the most diligent abacus-jockey tends to find his enthusiasm for figures drooping like a sunflower at dusk. Add to this the fact that many of the clientele appeared to have commenced their bibulous festivities long before they reached the premises, and you will agree that conditions were hardly conducive to feats of lightning calculation. Strong drink, as is well documented in the scientific literature, enhances a fellow’s capacity to discourse on politics, philosophy, and the shortcomings of his fellow man, but in direct inverse proportion reduces his ability to add two and two and be confident of arriving at four.
A further impediment was that a fair number of these worthies bore that well-worn look which comes from long acquaintance with employment in the pugilistic trades—an occupation not generally recommended for those who wish to preserve the subtler faculties of the cerebrum.
And yet—marvel of marvels—despite this catalogue of disadvantages, I could not help but observe in their demeanor the unmistakable signs of strenuous mental exertion. Some stared upward and to the left with that peculiar air of men attempting to prod the slumbering arithmetic department of their brains into wakefulness. Others engaged in digital gymnastics, counting feverishly upon fingers, thumbs, and in certain cases knuckles, as if testing whether these appendages could be coaxed into serving as auxiliary calculating machines. A few brave souls even moved their lips silently, clearly rehearsing inwardly some particularly sticky bit of numeracy.
Alas, the distance, the gloom, and an all-pervasive odor that suggested a dead rat had chosen the alley as its final resting place precluded any possibility of lip-reading on my part. But the conclusion is inescapable: arithmetical wheels, rusty though they might be, were assuredly turning.”